The loss of a loved one is a heartbreaking experience, but it is something all of us will face in our lives. Whether it’s a parent, spouse or other friends and relatives, it will occur. During this time, people feel extreme sorrow over the loss and end up fearing the future because they have lost their direction and have no control over their lives. As a result, their grief often overwhelms them, and it becomes harder for them to accept the loss and deal with their emotions. In dealing with grief, one must, therefore, find ways to express one’s sorrow in a healthy manner, one that will help you during the grieving process.
However, when we lose someone close to our heart, we let go of a part of ourselves. In order to deal with heartache and loss, we close ourselves off. By protecting ourselves at a time of deep grief and sadness, we seek solace by not being present. How can one process something so big, so hurtful? How can life ever go on when this has happened? By closing your heart and shutting your eyes you are only trying to keep on, what more can you do? It is hard to manage so much, let alone keep on with life. To open your heart means to receive all the hurt, all the emotion and pain. Of course, it may seem as if it can’t be felt all at once. But the truth is it can. You can find the strength to be with what has happened.
You can be present at your loss. Because if you can’t, if you keep delaying your emotions you will never be able to come to terms with letting go. Now I know this is hard, the first response being, coping and protecting your heart, shielding the truth and allowing the reality seep in little by little. In truth though, this will only keep the grief and sadness with you, pulling it along with your heart in the need to protect it. It is like laying a blanket of depression over who you are instead of looking at it and seeing it for what it is. Do you wish to be covered for free? Do you want to see the full truth or drag it out little by little all the while feeling the pain? You have the strength; you really do, to see it for what it is- a loss so significant, so significant as to leave you feeling this way. Below are tips of how to deal with grief.
Grief Journal: First, you can start a grief journal. Writing in a journal has often been found to be therapeutic and healing because a person can write about his or her thoughts and emotions. It is the same for a grief journal. Dealing with grief becomes easier for you because you can freely express your reflections and release all that bottled up painful emotions and thoughts. It becomes a helpful tool for you to accept the death of a loved one and helps you get a handle on your feelings and emotions.
Avoiding stressful situations and decisions: This is important especially in the initial stages of grief when people are not always exercising their best judgment. In particular, don’t try to make financial decisions that can be postponed. Don’t sell the house for the first year and consult legitimate financial advisors and professionals to help with these and other financial details.
Reach out to family members and close friends. Don’t go through grief alone: This is the time to reach out to those who care for you and love you. They too may be experiencing the pain you are enduring. Facing difficulty together is better than facing it alone.
Volunteer Work: This may surprise you, but it really can help. It lets you get out among other people, some of whom have dealt with the problems you now have. Helping someone else gives you a good feeling, which can counterbalance the grief and depression that naturally come with a loss. You may find, during this work, that there you have new skills and new insights. These are positive things for your recovery.
Grief Counseling. (Support groups or individual therapy): It helps to be able to discuss and even vent your feelings to people who understand. Most people have experienced the loss of a loved one, and being able to “be yourself” in a non-judgmental environment can be healing.
Hence, there are many more ways in which you can express your sorrow. Some people may want to travel to another country to get away from familiar surroundings, while others prefer to grieve and mourn quietly surrounded by family and friends. Some people may find it better to talk to strangers in a support group rather than with other family members or friends. Regardless of what one does to cope with the loss, it is important to remember that there is no standard way or one effective method for dealing with grief because dealing with grief is different for every person who has ever lost a loved one.